The Halloween Episode

Did you just see that?
The ghost of Nicky Driscoll!
The gymnasium!

My So-Called Knife

It's Halloween night
We're performing a seance
At the old high school!

Things that Make You Go "I wonder?"

Getting laid off from

The unemployment office

Must be a real hoot

Universal Soldier

quit smokes and quit booze

been watching action movies

to feel that sweet rush

for my friend who has a problem

failed ringtone download

now all my numbers are gone

fuck a bunch of this

The Ape. James Franco.

I come with the place

You didn't read the fine print

Upkeep of the Ape

It Totally Can

Wait just one second

I have, like, thirteen black friends

That can't be racist!

Haiku While You Wait

Waiting for my friend

It's taking her forever

She will pay for this

but i got mine

Mad that i wasted
Perfectly good depression
On an ugly boy

i'm already an excellent scribe

i need a Snuggie
Maybe i'll get a brown one?
I'd look like a monk

Winnie the Pooh Sweaters Too

If she can wear sweats
Why can't i wear chuck taylors
"Business caz" my ass

obviously

There's no way to bitch
About passive aggression
Without doing it

Scrooged pt. 1

For the love of God

Hold the goddamn hammering

Have you tried staples?

It Can't be Helped by Anyone

Except for Lee Pace

I don't care much for white boys

I dig kinky hair

Magazines at the Check-Out Line

If i never see

Joli and Brad Pitt again

It'll be too soon

XO

I would like to meet
The guy who came up with hugs
And give them a kiss

Like, Three Times a Week

When in a bad mood
I watch YouTube videos
Of puppies sleeping

Central! Central! Give Em Hell!

High school yearbooks can

Remind you how mean you are

Lots of ugly kids

Groundhog Day pt. 1

It's Ned... Ryerson

Needle-Nose Ned. Ned the Head

I sell insurance

I'm a Sucker

Guy with curly hair
Smells like Burberry cologne
I hear wedding bells

Me Want Food

I am so hungry
That i could eat both your hands
And not regret it

My Co-worker is Awesome

Victor Edwards is
DJ TrickE in the house
He likes ZZ Top

The # 6 w/o Cucumbers Could've Brought About World Peace, but No

I wish Jimmy John
Didn't shoot leopards and such
Total douchebag move

Fuck Me? Fuck HaikYou!

If i had a blog

About Bill Murray haikus

Maybe he'd see it